Friday, April 17, 2015

My Periodic Paralysis Prayer

After sharing that poem another HKPP patient wrote, I have decided I'd like to also post my own that I just happened to write down on Sunday morning as a prayer to God.  It is very free form - I never was good at poetry, but the heart is there.  One song that comes to my mind over and over again is "Why Should I Worry." You'll recognize it in the very last line.

Here I am again.
I can't even stand.
In tears because I'm so weak.

I fight for my next breath
And feebly open my eyes.
My heart is racing fast as tremors shake my body
And I struggle to even speak.

But you hear the cry of my heart, LORD.
You know I wanted to be there.
It's not news to you that I wish I could do - 
Everything. All the time. Faithfully.

Yet, I am so weak.
Funny thing is that's what you seek.

So take my weakness and show your strength.
Help me open my eyes, and dry my tears
Hold my feeble, trembling hand.
Calm my heart and soothe my mind.

As I remember that
When sickness comes, and my body's in pain, 
All I have to do is call on Your name.


  1. Thank you for your transparency in your struggle and your dependence on the Saviour. "Without me, ye can do nothing."

    1. What a good verse. I go back to our verses often. It's good we preached them at each other so much. :)

  2. Great poem, Anna. Wow! I can relate in so many ways. I don't know if I have the same thing, but when mine gets really really bad most of the symptoms that you mentioned are there. And the part about how you wish you could always do everything and always be faithful, that's how I feel too. I hate when I feel too weak to do what needs done and when Isaiah has to pick up my slack. But you are right; that's how God wants us to be and I guess I am one of those really proud people whom God needs to keep humble and this is the best way to keep me humble, close to Him and knowing and remembering just how weak I am. But maybe we are the most blessed ones, Anna, for when we read in the Word about weakness we understand just what it is for we have felt it and experienced it deeply. And not only that, but we have felt and experienced God's amazing strength, for He has been there to pick us up when we had nothing else to turn to. He has used His mighty hand just to give us the power to stand. I am glad that you choose to receive strength from God, for it encourages me to continue to do the same and to be okay with being the weak one. Love you and praying for you. May we both be encouraged to follow in the steps of Paul.

    "7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 

    9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.

    ”Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:7-10